well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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