and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Semen is not good for contacts.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
