We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
