she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
