The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
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