just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
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