i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
