pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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