maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
