And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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