Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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