We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
