Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
