am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
