i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
