Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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