Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
