Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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