just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
