the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
