Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
