tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
