This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
