Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize