guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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