this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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