you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
