all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
