i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
