Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
