sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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