he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
