I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
