And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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