I'm going to jail i love you
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
