I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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