hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize