erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
