Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
