it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Randomize
