im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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