did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
