So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
