Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
