i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
he fucked my hip out of place.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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