I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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