get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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