Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
