Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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