alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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