DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Everyone says I win the strip club
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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