Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Operation Purity has been aborted
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
