do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
