My vagina just recognized that song.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize