the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
