im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Randomize
