Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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