I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
