Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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