This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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