For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize