my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
